Till Death do Us Part

MaryBeth Chrisman passed away this past Memorial Day. I didn't really know her that well, but Clint did. She was the aunt of one of his childhood friends and she sort of took us under her wing when we first started attending Bethany Chapel - she was a very sweet, kind lady. Anyway, I guess she had cancer in the past that had gone into remission, but about a year and a half/2years ago - not too long after we decided to attend Bethany Chapel, she went in for hip surgery and has not been in church since. While there, she found out that the cancer was back and she had been laid up ever since. Every week, Pastor would give an update on MaryBeth and the deaconesses arranged for meals to be taken to her and Chuck. We were able to do about 3 meals for them, and the last time -right before Annie was born - the three of us were able to take the meal over there and say "Hi" to MaryBeth. Of course, Grace was all over their house, so it wasn't a long visit by any means, but I made a few observations then that are coming back to my mind now that we are making plans to attend the visitation and funeral this weekend.

The thing that made the biggest impression on me was Uncle Chuck. He seems a strong, silent type. I remember his eyes and how exhausted he looked, but how gentle he was. He didn't talk much, but you could see love in his eyes for his wife, exhaustion from the past year of taking care of her 24/7 and also a thankfulness at not having to prepare a meal that evening. Last Sunday (before MaryBeth passed away) Pastor gave us the update saying how MaryBeth was having really bad days, and then he said "We need to pray for Chuck - because it's really taking it's toll on him." Just that simple statement brought tears to both Clint's and my eyes.

The picture of a husband faithfully standing by his wife of so many years - tenderly caring for her, serving her, holding her when she is in pain, praying and crying over her - wishing that he could this time make it all go away and be her protector, yet unable and helpless to do anything - is such a beautiful portrait and testament of what marriage can be. These days marriages like this are few and far between - "tilldeathdouspart" is just a line people say, almost mumble, at the end of the marriage vows. Having to live out "till death do us part" with the idea that death is coming soon cannot be easy and the tendency in our society is just to bail when the tough gets going. "I just can't handle it - I'm done" or some other excuse to leave a tough situation.

Not Uncle Chuck - he was faithful to the end. My grandma was faithful to the end. March 14th my grandpa passed away after an agonizing 20 hours in surgery and recovery. They had been married 58 years - 8 years beyond golden. My grandma can hardly breathe now, without my grandpa. There is another couple in our church - in their mid-90's - the husband had a stroke not too long ago and one day after church (while he was still recovering) the wife began sobbing - I'm certain because she was scared. I can't imagine having someone at your side for 70+ years to one day look over and not have them be there.

These are the people who have truly lived and are living out that marriage vow in every way it was meant when it was written. And I am so thankful and grateful that I know, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that my husband will be the same way for me. He will take care of me if I get sick, he will cry with me when I am hurt, he will be by my side when we send Grace off to college, or when Annie gets married, he will send me another beautiful bouquet of roses if we have a third addition to our family and he will be there to laugh at all the stupid, clumsy things I do and put up with the random thoughts that come out of my mouth on a daily basis. I don't say it often enough, I don't know that I've ever said it, but Clint truly is my Prince Charming (as cheesy as it sounds and it does sound cheesy!) He loves me more than anything in this world.

I am his and he is mine - till death do us part.

Grumpy and Happy

Photo courtesy of Rachel Hammond!

Compared to our last two weekends, our Memorial Day weekend was so nice and relaxed. On Friday, we were excited because Rachel, Madi and Parker Hammond came down to visit us! It's so fun, interesting and a little unnerving to see how your kids are going to get along with your friends' kids - you know? Madi and Grace have played together before, but I doubt it if Grace remembers it - it was last summer and she wasn't even 2 years old then. Especially these days of the Terrible Twos, I get very nervous about how Grace will react in situations - will she obey? will she share? will she push and bite, etc...But they played so well together! They were holding hands and running all over the house in no time. Rach and I had fun cramming three of our kiddos in the wagon, putting Annie is the lightest stroller I've ever pushed and walking down to Scidmore Park to play on the playground. The petting zoo was closed so we settled for feeding the ducks and chickens through the fence. We were at the park for about an hour and - back up to the house for a busy lunch of pizza, pears and Pringles and some Play-doh before everyone had to part so we could take our naps! I loved it - it was so good to see Rach and her kiddos. Sometimes I can't even believe that we are all grown up and have families! It's seems so middle-aged and yet here we are - arranging playdates...Never mind that I went to college 13 years ago!

That was just the start to a wonderful relaxing weekend - we haven't just been home in a LONG time. Nothing is ever relaxing for the Young family you know? Activities seem to just double up on each other - especially house showings - it's inevitable - if we have something out of the ordinary going on - we'll have someone want to come see the house.

Anyway - Clint finished putting up the swingset and sandbox for Grace and she just loves it. Luuuuh-ves it. She doesn't want to do anything but "play in the backyard." Hence the tantrums whenever "playing in the backyard" doesn't really fit into the schedule. Like Sunday mornings -

"I don't wanna go to church. Wanna play in the backyard. Momm-yy!"

"Don't wanna visit Gramma and Ranpa. Wanna play in the backyard. Mommm-yyyy!"


"Don't wanna eat dinner. Wanna play in the backyard. MOMMMMMM-YYYYYY!"

On and on like that- the girl is all about the backyard now. It's a good thing we had a weekend to do nothing but play in the backyard, but good grief - we can't be out there 24/7 and we aren't in a safe enough neighborhood to just let her play outside by herself. Maybe if our kitchen had a window looking out on the backyard, but it doesn't. Trouble is, Grace has this little Bostonian thing going on when she pronounces her "r"s - I can't even type it the way it sounds, but I will never forget it - it's hilarious. Everytime she tells me she wants to go in the backyard, I giggle. Pretty soon she's gonna get mad at me for laughing at her so much.

Meleia and Andrew came for dinner on Monday - we grilled shish-ka-billy-bobs (term from childhood) and were they tasty! Mmm. By this time in the weekend Grace was absolutely exhausted because of all the backyard play and late nights, etc..So 'Lia and Andrew were definitely able to see a toddler in rare form. Yeah, that's right - my darling Cinderella screeching, throwing food on the floor, whining and crying about not being in her beloved backyard - a whole bunch of things that could definitely turn anybody off from parenthood.

I realized this weekend how hard it is for me to let go and let my daughter be her own person. Whether it means trying to please Mommy and Daddy and Jesus or whether it means throwing a fit and being grumpy. Grace is entitled to be herself and it is my job to provide guidance. I want her to behave a certain way and be the good, sweet little girl I know she is when she's not exhausted - she on the other hand could care less what Meleia and Andrew or Rachel, Madi and Parker or all the people at church think of her. (Oh the freedom of caring less!) Her tantrums, grumpiness and stubborness just puts my people pleasing nature into knots! I have to keep reminding myself that as long as she is not being naughty I need to let her be herself. Hard lesson for us parents to learn, I'm sure I'm not the only in the world with ginormous expectations for their kiddos.

Annie update: This weekend was the first time I made Annie laugh! Played with her mouth a little bit, making the humming noise, etc...She is so adorable - she's laughed a couple other times since then! I am so curious to see how her personality develops - she seems a pretty happy and contented little bug so far!

My Cinderellas were on complete opposite sides of the fence this weekend. They could have been 2 of the 7 Dwarfs this weekend: Happy and Grumpy. Throw me with my allergies in and you've got one more - Sneezy!

www.disneyclips.com

Maria Chapman

I can't say that Steven Curtis Chapman has been a big part of my life - I liked his music, but I don't have any tapes or CDs of his or listened to anything of his unless it was on the radio...until his Cinderella song came out a few months ago and it has touched my heart and made such a huge impact on me. Apparently he has written a book about Daddies and Princesses and the love for a daughter from her father, this I didn't know. I also didn't know that he was such a champion for adoption and has adopted 3 little girls from China into his family. And now, his youngest - one of the inspirations for the Cinderella song was killed in what can only be called a freak accident. Her brother, driving the SUV, just didn't see her.

How does a family comprehend this? I have no idea. I was so sad when Clint told me the news this morning after I woke up. Of course, he followed it up with "You need to always hold Gracie hand, don't let her wander down the driveway alone" and other such instructions. And Clint is right, I do need to do that, but all of this got my mind contemplating several different things this morning as I read news articles and hear the story on the radio.

My thoughts are these:

Of course I will watch Grace more closely now. She is a daredevil - impulsive without any fear whatsoever. I have watched that girl run full force into countless walls because she was looking over her shoulder at something else. She crawls under trucks for heaven's sake - I can only hope that each day she grows older comes with a bit of common sense and caution. But ultimately, her life in God's hands and He will do as He chooses. I could have Grace bound and gagged on my hip every time I go outside, but if it is her time to go home, then nothing I do will prevent it from happening. There is nothing I can do to stop the Lord from taking her or anybody I love home. This was Maria's time to go home. Why so young? Only the Lord knows. And why so tragic? How will the Lord use this in their ministry and life? And is that thought supposed to be comforting? What do you say to them?

In my opinion, one of the worst parts for the family is that they have to grieve in the public eye. If it were me, and it could be someday - just as much as the Chapman family, I would have all sorts of doubts and questions for the Lord, and I certainly wouldn't want to have to maintain some sort of status or witness for everybody. I would want to be left alone to deal with the questions and have no one around me watching. Everybody will be wondering and looking at this poor boy and the rest of the family. Their faith is a strong part of this family and their relationships with Jesus Christ is very evident, but how do you even start to predict what you would be like in a situation like this?? I don't think you can.

The pictures of Maria on Steven Curtis Chapman's website are beautiful. What a sweet, precious little face. Makes me hug my little Cinderellas a little longer and encourages me to give them a little more grace in these toddler years than perhaps I have been. This situation reminds me to trust in God's sovereignty and feel peace that He loves my two girls even more than I do (which is hard to comprehend) and no matter what lies in our future, His will be done.

"The Lord gave and the Lord taketh away, BLESSED be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Not so much

Clint had his first softball game last night. This season he has 2 away games and 8 home games. I figured I could get to the away games with the girls, because both the churches he plays at have playgrounds, whereas our church doesn't. Without a playground it's really hard to keep my busy little climber occupied. Last night was an away game, so I resolved to take the girls, park my camping chair next to the playground, put Annie in the stroller next to me and let her sleep, while I watch the game, cheer for my team and watch Grace play at the same time. Supermom/wife all in one cute, chubby package!

Not so much.

It turned windy on us first of all. Second of all: my darling sleeping Annie decided to have a bout with gas, or a hissy fit or something, but she would NOT stop crying - on and on she went. Meanwhile Grace is having troubles on the climbing wall and is yelling for me to help her, and it's turning colder by the minute. We parked next to the play area, so I took Annie into the truck to try and feed her and keep her warm. Of course then, barefoot and dirty, Grace wants to load up with us and play in the truck. Honestly, she was like a tornado in a trailer park in our truck cab!Playing with the radio, hanging on the rearview mirror, playing and breaking Clint's sunglasses, putting the spare change in her mouth, trying to take us out of park and into 4 wheel drive with the gears - and jabbering the whole time! The tornado lasted for about 10 minutes and then decides to get back out again, but she wants me to come play with her. I try to put Annie back in the stroller and of course, she would have none of it and commence to crying/screaming again. And how was the softball game going?

WHO THE HECK KNOWS????

So, finally about an hour into our time, I decide this was completely pointless and Clint will just not have his number 1 fans there to root for him. I put Annie back in the truck, literally took the stroller over my head and just about threw the thing into the bed of the truck along with the camping chair, which I sailed in after the stroller. Then over to the climbing wall to pick up Grace who was just HEARTbroken to leave the playground. But I couldn't do it anymore. Too much for one person and not safe to boot. I drove over to the team bench with both girls crying and fussing and told Clint I was outta there - he could come to or he could get a ride home. Took me the whole ride home to shake that hour off.

So much for Supermom/wife - but the deck was stacked against me and I'll find other activities for us chicas to do on Tuesday nights.

Annie was much happier at home, bathed, in her jammies and asleep in her bassie within an hour of the crazy chaos of the softball game. Grace was asleep in her princess nightie, showered and dreaming of her favorite storybooks about a half hour after that. Is there anything better than clean, warm, happy babies who are tucked asleep in their beds? I really don't think so - there is such a peace in my heart at bedtime. I love checking in on them and seeing their little faces without a care in the world. So sweet and precious. I'm lucky to get to relive that moment over and over and over again.

Sale'in

Garage sales: "hopin' people will come and buy all the crap that you just pulled out of the basement." The big Tamarac garage sale was this weekend - we did pretty well - a little over a hundred bucks we made, while being able to clear out about a third of the stuff in our basement. We went down and anything I hadn't thought of in a year (you know, since last year when we went through all that stuff and decided we couldn't part with it then) we put in the sale. Clint also banned us from going out shopping to other people's sales as the point was to clean out - not just accumulate different stuff. That was fine with me -at this neighborhood garage sale you can find some sweet deals if you know what to look for and where to go, but you have to have a whole lot of patience to weed through all the other junk - and I just do not possess that quality.

I'm going to post something specific about my girls on each post. Annie isn't doing anything interesting yet, like Grace is, but I'm documenting her to keep a tally for me!

Annie update: We're down to one feeding a night - problem is: it's at 3:30, so by the time I get her fed, burped, changed and back to sleep - it's only a half hour till the alarm goes off...I just need her to sleep for an hour and a half longer...I'm thinking of trying a little cereal in her bop to keep her little belly full. We brought up the swing from the basement this weekend. Unlike her sissy at that age, she LOVES it. I just wuv her little chubby cheeks - and the fact that she is staying awake longer during the day now. I can't wait to see how her personality develops!

Gracie funny: Yesterday we were leaving my parent's house and we told Gracie to go to the other side of the truck so Clint could load her up in her seat. She's in her Sunday dress, tights and dress shoes, mind you...and she crawls UNDER THE TRUCK to get there!!! What the heck??? We had to stop and have a discussion about how you can just walk AROUND vehicles and should never, never crawl UNDER them. Sheesh - somethings you just expect them to be born knowing...

Bustin' my Hop

Grace loves to do dishes...well, she loves to THINK she's doing dishes - as I've already washed them and taken out all things sharp and breakable. Whenever I suggest Gracie do dishes, I am met with great enthusiasm. I told Grace she was "bustin' her hop" you know - earning her keep. So, I relate this story to Clint who then tells me "I think it's 'bustin' my hump'" - well that just sounds dirty to me and I've always, since I first watched the movie Uncle Buck - thought the phrase was "bustin' my hop." So, I told Clint he was wrong, etc...this was a couple weeks ago.

So Tuesday night I got Grace set up with doing dishes again and told her she was "bustin' her hop" - but got to thinking that it's entirely possible that I didn't hear the movie correctly or anybody else who has said the phrase since 1989 - because you know, sometimes I don't hear things so well - and decided that I would look it up the next day at work. Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon, I look up the phrase on the Urban Dictionary website and it is "Bustin' my Hump" and apparently there are plenty of other things that you can "bust."

So, all these years I've been wrong, but I have to say - I'm not going to change it :) Bustin' your hump just sounds wrong for a 2 year old...

Gracie funny: I left the entertainment center door open last night and of course Grace got in to it, which is why we have childproof locks on it. I told her to get out of the cabinet and lock it up. - which she did. Cracked me up to watch her lockin' herself out of the cabinet.

Nails in Tires

Last night was one of those beautiful evenings that made you feel like getting tons of things, things you haven't been able to do all winter, accomplished. Clint came home with a whole list of things he planned to get done - namely the main one to be that he was going to go and finish taking a swingset down that Ken and Kathy Rose had given to us for the girls. He needs to break it down at their house and then set it up in our backyard. Huge project and one we want to get done fairly soon - otherwise before we know it, it'll be winter with Grace staring out the window at her brand-new playground!

I had planned to make supper (something I haven't done much since I've gone back to work), do the floors, bathe both girls, play with Gracie, go to Wal-Mart for ridiculously priced formula, and fold a small mountain of laundry - I was feeling quite industrious. Then: Kaboom! Clint drives over this big ole' nail or something and we could hear the air whooshing out of his tires at a rapid pace. Literally getting the air let out of the tires of our plans! Turn off the stove, load up the girls and follow Clint to Wal-Mart where, thankfully they were able to fix his tire and I was able to accomplish one thing on my list.

It's stuff like this that can throw you in to a real tailspin and about hmmm 6 months ago, I would have been agitated out of my mind because I just couldn't fit the time in to the evening to fix all of this because of our crazy schedule. But God has been so good. Now, Clint and I are both down to just one job each :) (I quit tutoring for Esylvan in the evenings and actually have my life back - so nice!) and with Clint finally having a full-time job that he enjoys - the stress that used to be so heavy over me has dissipated. We are so thankful for all that God has given us. The little every day stressors, like nails in tires, now seem meager to me in light of all I used to stress about. It's nice - I may even learn to RELAX a little...you know, enjoy life...

Once we got home, I did manage to get most of my list done, with the exception of dinner (insert wicked grin and thanks to a Happy Meal) and the mountain that awaits me at home tonight (sigh). Clint, however, was so disgusted with the nail that he decided to scrap getting the swingset and watch Harry Potter instead! The playground will have to wait.